Life Lessons From Our Pets

by Ingrid King

I have always believed that animals come into our lives to teach us. First and foremost, they teach us about unconditional love. But they also teach us to stretch and grow, to reach beyond our self-imposed limits, and to expand our consciousness. They take us to places we did not think were possible for us to go. I’ve been fortunate to have a number of these animals in my life.

There was my soul mate kitty, Feebee, who was instrumental in guiding me from an unsatisfactory corporate job to a fulfilling career in the veterinary profession.  For the first time in my life, I discovered what loving what you do for a living feels like.  There was my office cat Virginia, who made my dream of a fulfilling career complete. Whenever I had visualized my perfect job, that dream had always included a cat sleeping in a sunny spot on my desk. One of Virginia’s favorite sleeping places was the spot right next to my computer on my desk at the animal hospital, in front of a sunny window.  There was Buckley, who changed my life in ways I never could have imagined by helping me discover my true passion.  Her lessons were profound enough to inspire an entire book.  And there is Amber, who I share my life with now.  Her gentle, wise presence brings love and affection into my life every day, and she inspired this site, which is dedicated to sharing information about health, happiness and conscious living for pets and their people.

I’ve found that there are three main lessons that all animals teach us, if only we are willing to listen.

They teach us to live in the moment.  Our pets don’t spend time analyzing the past, and they don’t worry about the future.  They are fully focused on whatever it is they are doing in the present moment, whether it’s enjoying a meal, playing with a favorite toy, or napping in the sunny spot on the rug.

They help us to slow down.  We get so caught up in the business of our daily lives, and we rarely take enough time to relax.  Spending time with our pets is the best stress relief I know of.  Research has shown that simply petting a dog or cat can lower your blood pressure.

They help us connect with our spiritual core.  As humans, we have an innate need to get in touch with something greater than ourselves.  For some people, this connection comes through religion, for others, it comes from being in nature.  For me, it has always come from being around animals.

Listen to the animals in your life – you might be surprised at the lessons they have to teach you. What have you learned from your pets?

Ingrid King is the author of Buckley’s Story — Lesson from a Feline Master Teacher.   She is a former veterinary hospital manager turned writer. Her online magazine News for You and Your Pet goes out to subscribers around the world. Her blog, The Conscious Cat, has been called “educational cat nip for the cat lover” and is a comprehensive resource for conscious living, health and happiness for pets and their people.  For more information about Ingrid, please visit www.ingridking.com.

Grieving the Loss of a Pet

Given that Americans spent roughly $45 billion on their pets last year, there is no question that we value our pets as an equal family member. So when when your beloved pet passes on, the grief can be as overwhelming as the loss of a child or best friend. For Courtney, the first days after the death of her Boxer Mandy — who succumbed to cancer — were the hardest, as she found herself “crying harder than I’ve ever cried”. Sharing her grief with her husband Jon helped both of them start the process of healing, and focusing on their one-year-old daughter gave them a much needed distraction. But Courtney also took the time to reflect on the life she shared with Mandy. “Mandy was my first baby. I gave her everything a dog could need or want, and she gave me back more than I could ever deserve. She taught me a lot, and I am grateful for my time with her.”

Courtney’s approach to dealing with Mandy’s death was in line with recommendations put forth by many mental health experts, as well as the the American Kennel Club. Among the suggestions AKC offers is the notion that “grief should be expressed freely” and encourages grieving pet owners to focus on the joy their pet has brought to them. AKC also notes that other family members including children and even pets may react to the loss of their companion and could need extra attention. And while the void left by the death of a pet can be equal to that of another loved one, not everyone can relate to the magnitude of loss which can lead to feelings of shame, undermining the healing process. Peg Beehan, LCSW, who specializes in pet bereavement and offers tips at PetBereavement.com, suggests finding others who understand the special, irreplaceable relationship you had with your pet, and sharing your feelings with them. While many feel the need to grieve in alone, Beehan feels that isolation can “add another layer to the grieving process.”

As with people, a beloved pet can never be replaced. But by being honest with your feelings, reflecting on the the joys your pet brought to your life, and surrounding yourself with a warm, supportive environment, you can begin to move on and heal your wounds.

5 Easy Ways to Give Clutter Free Gifts

By Michelle Poteet

What is on your holiday wish list this year? Are you hoping that Aunt Mae gives you another 12-piece collection of holiday mugs? Or maybe that Grandma Rose makes you another collection of hot-pink doilies? Most likely you are secretly wishing for a clutter-free gift season. You probably already have a house full of many items that are never used, never needed and even things you might not even realize you have buried somewhere in the attic. Wouldn’t it be great to receive less “clutter” this year? You wouldn’t have to figure out where to put it, or what to do with it. You wouldn’t feel guilty when you donate or even discard of the item because it didn’t work for you. As you create your holiday gift shopping list this season remember these thoughts and feelings you are having about a clutter free holiday season and carry that over into how and what you decide to give this season.

Here are 5 clutter-free gift ideas to help you give a less cluttered holiday to your family and friends:

• Bake with love – Why not share you specialty cookies, candy or fudge with your family and friends? Put the treats in a reusable plastic container, or even a recycled pasta sauce jar. Decorate the container as you like. You instantly have a clutter-free, delicious holiday gift.
• Give your time – Do you know someone in need additional help cooking, cleaning, or even running errands? Give the gift of time this holiday. Helping someone who needs some extra help is a great clutter-free gift.
• Donate in their name – Do you know someone who is passionate about a particular wildlife organization? Make a donation in their name. Let them know that you donated to their favorite organization and forgo the cluttered gifts this year.
• Movie subscriptions – Do you have movie lovers in your family? Give them a movie subscription program. They can watch the movies they want to see and send them back when they are done. No extra clutter sitting around the house.
• Personal gift certificates – Create your own personal gift certificates for you family and friends this year. Do you have a friend who loves a certain band? Create a gift certificate that states you will take them to that concert. Maybe yourmom loves to get a pedicure? Create a gift certificate that stated you will take her for a day of pampering. Be creative, but be clutter free!

Gift giving should be from the heart. Remember what that special someone means to you and give a clutter-free gift that is meaningful to them. Think about the smile on their face
when they receive a heart-felt gift from you that adds no new clutter to their lives!

Michelle Poteet’s passion for organizing and her need to keep order in her home (when possible) inspired her to reach out and help others to Reclaim Order and simplify their lives. Learn more about Michelle and her services at ReclaimOrder.com.

Are You a Closet Clutterer?

By Betsy Fein

Do you spend more than two minutes each day prying apart your clothes trying to find today’s outfit because your clothes are all squeezed together and you can’t really see them?

Do you have jumbled piles of shoes, clothes, hats, belts, or other items piled on the floor or the shelves of your closet?

Are you afraid to open the doors of some closets for fear that something may fall out on your head or your toes?

Do you have some closets where you open the door slightly, throw something in there, and quickly slam the door to prevent anything from falling out?

If so, you may be a “Closet Clutterer”.

Closets are one of the most commonly disorganized spaces in the house.  There never seems to be enough room to hold all your “stuff”.  And as you accumulate more “stuff” as the years go by, the problem just seems to get worse.

Here are a few simple things you can do to take back control of your closet.

• When starting your project, break your closet down into areas such as shelves, hanging items, shoes, and so on. This makes the task a little less formidable and forces you to tackle one thing at a time.

• Get four boxes and mark them “Garbage,” “Donation,” “Garage Sale/Ebay,” and “Belongs somewhere else.”

• Don’t hold onto old clothes that no longer fit as an “incentive” to lose weight.  When in doubt, try it on.  It may no longer fit or be out of style.  Pack them up and store them in your basement, sell them, give them away, or donate them.

• If you haven’t worn something in the last two years, you will probably never wear it again.  Clear it out to make room for the new stuff.
• Keep shoes off the floor in unsightly piles. Invest in an enclosed shoe organizer to keep them neat. Make sure it is one that allows you to see through it, so you can find what you want quickly.
• The majority of closets have only one top shelf that goes entirely up to the ceiling. You can’t stack that high without items toppling over so you inevitably end up with a lot of “dead space”. Add another shelf at the midpoint section and store less frequently used items on your new top shelf.
• Get rid of your wire hangers and replace them with permanent, sturdy plastic or wood hangers.  These will keep your clothes less wrinkled and make them easier to find.
• Purchase shelf dividers for your usable shelf sections.  They clip onto shelves and are a great way for keeping sweaters, hats and handbags separated and accessible.
• Hang a small towel rack on the inside of your closet door to hang scarves.
• Where possible, hang a second layer closet rod. Use the top one for jackets and blouses and the lower one for skirts and slacks.  If two rods won’t fit, consider lowering your top rod and installing a storage shelf above it.
• If you sometimes purchase clothes that you end up not wearing, consider keeping the tags on and pinning the receipt to the clothes.  If you end up not wearing it for a few months, it will be easy to return it.
• Put your clothes back in the closet according to a system. If you have installed the second bar, one method is to hang shirts, blazers, and blouses (”tops”) on the top rod and all skirts, slacks, and “bottoms” on the lower bar. Of course, you can also organize by color—just find a system that works for you and stick with it daily!
• Creatively use organizing products:  multi-tier hangers for skirts, slacks, and shirts, vacuum-sealed bags, under bed storage bins, and over door storage.

These are but a few of the things you might consider when reorganizing your closet.  The satisfaction and peace of mind you’ll get from a clean, organized closet will help you start your day on a positive note.

Betsy Fein is the President of Clutterbusters!! a Rockville, MD-based professional organizing company, and one of the largest organizing companies in the United States.  She lives in Rockville with her husband, Rick, and two children, Natalie (11) and Noah (8).For more information about Clutterbusters!! go to www.clutterbusters.com, 1-866-CLUTTER, info@clutterbusters.com

Breaking the Curse of Disorganization

I am cursed. When my parents were bringing me home from the hospital for the first time, they met an old woman who sprinkled some water on my forehead and mumbled some words my parents thought to be wishes of good luck. When they got home and looked up some of the strange words they had heard, they realized the mysterious woman was a shamen sent by an arch enemy to put the curse of chaos on their first born child.

Ok, ok, I made all that up. But sometimes that’s how I feel — cursed! I am much more comfortable in a calm, organized environment, but I am lacking in the skills that produce such a scenario. My mother — whom I wholly blame for my deficiencies — definitely has a clear system of organization in her own world.  But she somehow forgot to pass her secrets along to me.  So while I have her need to have everything in its place, I don’t have the know-how to get it there!

Thankfully, we live in the 21st century, where apparently I am not the only one to have this problem. Indicative of others like me is the growing numbers of professional organizers. Women (mostly) who have turned their type-A personalities into a lucrative business are available to come into your home and bring chaos to order in your household.

According to the National Association of Professional Organizers (NAPO) which has nearly 4,000 members in the U.S. and 8 other countries, a professional organizer “enhances the lives of clients by designing systems and processes using organizing principles and by transferring organizing skills.”

Since not everyone can afford to pay a professional organizer to come reign in the chaos, I talked with Jessica Williams, self avowed Clutter Doctor who owns a business by the same name. I asked her a few questions that I think many of us organizationally challenged folks might want to know about.

VV: What are the most common organizational problems your clients bring to you? (i.e. home office, play area, garage, old files, etc.)

Clutter Doctor: I have worked in literally every room in the house and no two jobs are the same!  However, I’d say that all of my clients struggle with an overload of paper.  We are all victims of the massive influx of mail and paperwork that enters our home each week.  But there IS a way to get a handle on it all.  A professional organizer can help you develop systems for incoming papers and educate you about what to hold onto and for how long.

VV: Do you have some quick universal tips that you can offer for the worst of us disorganized people?

Clutter Doctor: When trying to decide whether or not to hold into an item, ask yourself some of these basic questions:

• Is this information current and/or can I can get somewhere else in the future?
• Do I love this item – does it bring me joy (or do these too-small jeans make me feel bad about myself)?
• Will this item make or save me money?
• Am I only saving this item because I’d feel guilty if I got rid of it (hint: bad feelings are not a good reason to hold onto something!)
• Do I “want” it or “need” it…or neither?
• Am I truly honoring this item (i.e. is it stuffed in a box where no one can see it, or am I properly displaying it so that I can enjoy it?)
• If it needs repair, am I ever actually going to repair it?
• Have I used this item in the past 12 months?
• Is there a legal reason to keep this item (check with your tax advisor or attorney)
• If I took a picture of it to keep, could I more easily part with it?
• What’s the worst that could happen if I got rid of it…and could I live with the consequences?

VV: How often do you go in homes simply to do all the organizing work for your clients, vs. teaching them organizational skills that will continue using?

Clutter Doctor: I never do all of the organizing work for my clients.  It is a collaborative process.  Other than things that are obviously trash (gum wrappers), I would not be able to make decisions for that person about what to keep or toss because the value they have placed on that item is not going to be the same as mine.  They need to be involved in the process of weeding through their belongings.  My role is to help them answer some of the questions I’ve listed above and to help them feel comfortable with their answers.  I try to transfer organizing skills to them while we are sorting through their items.

Williams also added that people’s inability to get organized is not necessarily genetic, nor is it because they’re dumb, lazy or crazy (as many blame themselves for being!).    And many people suffer from issues such as ADD/ADHD, Chronic Disorganization (see National Study Group on Chronic Disorganization’s website), anxiety, depression or other circumstances which make getting organized on their own too difficult.  But being organized is a skill that many people can learn with help from a properly trained professional organizer.

Another great resource Williams suggested is a widely-accepted book in the industry Organizing from the Inside Out: The Foolproof System For Organizing Your Home, Your Office and Your Life by Julie Morgenstern.  It’s a step-by-step and room-by-room guide on how to get organized.

In addition to talking to Jessica Williams, I asked around and got a few more tips from some of my more organized friends. My favorite suggestion, since I have a mountain of artwork from my kids, is to keep a large portfolio case for each child’s artwork. All artwork (at least all flat artwork) can go in the portfolio, and then twice a year, once over the summer, and once during winter break, you (with or without the kids) can go through the portfolio and keep the stuff that really stands out.

Another tip was to tear out articles and recipes in magazines that you want to keep, and put them in a binder, and then recycle what’s left. Since I have stacks and stacks of cooking magazines, the tip was particularly helpful for me. For paperwork, I really love the Reminder Binder Clips that Staples carries. They don’t seem to have them online, but I did find binder clips that you can write on. At least if you can’t file your papers right away, you can separate them by action required and keep them organized.

One of my own personal tips is to use hanging shoe organizers liberally! It’s amazing how many functions they can fill in your house, from spice rack to mitten organizer.

Hopefully some of these tips can help get you started in putting some order back in your life. When you have order, you have productivity, and when you are feeling productive, you will feel ten times better about yourself.