Grieving the Loss of a Pet

Given that Americans spent roughly $45 billion on their pets last year, there is no question that we value our pets as an equal family member. So when when your beloved pet passes on, the grief can be as overwhelming as the loss of a child or best friend. For Courtney, the first days after the death of her Boxer Mandy — who succumbed to cancer — were the hardest, as she found herself “crying harder than I’ve ever cried”. Sharing her grief with her husband Jon helped both of them start the process of healing, and focusing on their one-year-old daughter gave them a much needed distraction. But Courtney also took the time to reflect on the life she shared with Mandy. “Mandy was my first baby. I gave her everything a dog could need or want, and she gave me back more than I could ever deserve. She taught me a lot, and I am grateful for my time with her.”

Courtney’s approach to dealing with Mandy’s death was in line with recommendations put forth by many mental health experts, as well as the the American Kennel Club. Among the suggestions AKC offers is the notion that “grief should be expressed freely” and encourages grieving pet owners to focus on the joy their pet has brought to them. AKC also notes that other family members including children and even pets may react to the loss of their companion and could need extra attention. And while the void left by the death of a pet can be equal to that of another loved one, not everyone can relate to the magnitude of loss which can lead to feelings of shame, undermining the healing process. Peg Beehan, LCSW, who specializes in pet bereavement and offers tips at PetBereavement.com, suggests finding others who understand the special, irreplaceable relationship you had with your pet, and sharing your feelings with them. While many feel the need to grieve in alone, Beehan feels that isolation can “add another layer to the grieving process.”

As with people, a beloved pet can never be replaced. But by being honest with your feelings, reflecting on the the joys your pet brought to your life, and surrounding yourself with a warm, supportive environment, you can begin to move on and heal your wounds.