Review of Shmirshky — think inside the box

When I was first approached about reviewing the book Shmirshky — think inside the box, I was hesitant. Written by ‘E’, the book was presented as follows: “Shmirshky is about menopause – it’s hilarious, witty and full of love.” Menopause. Hum….. at 37 years old, I like to think I’m still have time before I have to think about menopause, and I preferred to keep my head in the sand when it came to the matter. But then I had to admit, that although I am hopefully at least a decade off before I have to face the dreaded M-word, it couldn’t hurt to have an idea of what I face down the road. And it never hurts to have an idea of what other people I know might be going through — people like my mom.

When Shmirshky arrived, I was instantly intrigued. No — intrigued is not the right word. Amused. As you can see, the cover of the book has an outline of hips with a … uh … fuzzy spot in the middle. As soon as I opened the book, I was drawn in to the humor and reality of the book. As already mentioned, Shmirshky refers to vagina, but it also refers to anyone who has a vagina. In contrast, we learn, an erlick is a penis and/or anyone who has a penis. You will find many other words defined in the book, such as premenopause, perimenopause, postmenopausal, and, of course, the biggest one of them all — menopause. Sure, you could find all of these things in dictionary, on a health web site, and of course Wikipedia. But what you won’t get in any of those places is a very real account of what it is like to go through all of the phases of menopause, and certainly not in the way E describes it.

The book Shmirshky came about when E found herself desperate for information on what to expect when going through these massive hormonal changes and kept coming up short. There were the standard, sterile, medical accounts of what could or would happen to her body, but most of them were probably written by men, and none of them represented a personal account leading her to feel quite alone in the process. Friends wouldn’t talk about it, relatives brushed over it, and finally E decided to take matters into her own hands, ready to “bust open the shmirshky cover-up and sound the alarm for others.”

In addition to a first-hand understanding of M, as the author calls menopause, E has a deep understanding of the female psyche, and how we cope — or avoid coping with such a monumental event in every woman’s life. As E says in Chapter 5, the big shmirshky cover-up, “It’s not that we don’t want to be honest with those we love, but rather that we aren’t honest with ourselves. We’re afraid of being less than: less than perfect, less than 100 percent functioning, less than able to juggle it all.” But we find out as we go through the book that we must come to terms with the fact that even if we can’t (nor shouldn’t be) perfect, or perform at 100 percent, or juggle it all, it doesn’t mean that we are less than anything, because we are still who we are.

In addition to telling it like it is, Shmirshky is full of good advice on how to handle M through each step in the process, from finding the right doctor and understanding all the tests and numbers that are thrown your way to taking the concept of self care to a new level. She reminds us that we are “brought up to be the caregivers, but we must learn how to take care of ourselves”. And by learning to take care of ourselves, no matter whether we are years away from menopause, right smack in the middle of menopause, or have long since left it behind, now is the time to “love and respect the old you, just as you embrace the new.”

Menopause can be a scary thing. As E says, “we spend most of our time wondering where our period is, when it’s going to come, and when it will go away. It’s less like a period and more like a question mark.” But going into the experience with the knowledge and humor found in this book, the process can be a little less intimidating. Ultimately, in the author’s words, if you have a vagina, or you know someone who does, then this book is for you.