What to Say When You’re Not Expecting (But Look Like You Are)

Recently I was on a flight back from California after a fun long weekend with a friend. Since I’m on the East coast, the return flight is usually about 5 hours and I get a bit antsy sitting in my seat, squished and uncomfortable. After getting up to use the rest room (or should I say ‘lavatory’), I decided to stand a while and stretch my legs. Since the flight attendants had already been through with the service cart, they were casually chatting amongst each other. Seeing me standing there, one of the flight attendants turned to me and asked, “So how far along are you?”.

Now, an airplane is loud, and I knew I had heard her correctly, but with what was probably a bit of a stunned look, I said “what?”. She instantly realized her mistake and tried to cover her tracks.

“I mean your flight. How much further do you have to go,” she stammered. Too late. I knew what she meant. And frankly, I couldn’t blame her. While I’m not a particularly large woman, I have been blessed with the eternal pooch. No matter how much weight I gain or lose, my pear shaped body seems to hold tight to my tummy which, yes, can resemble that of a pregnant woman. Add to that the fact that I was wearing an empire cut maxi dress, leaning against the wall of the airplane, probably accentuating my stomach, and the mistake she made doesn’t seem so out of the question.

I went along with her change in course and replied that I was headed home. And, that was it. I didn’t go back to my seat and spend the next hour and a half of my flight stewing and brewing over what she said while clouds of self hatred materialized around my body. I simply took it for what it was — an honest mistake, and moved on.

There was a time I would not have been so non-chalant about such a mistake and indeed, it is not the first time it happened. (The first time was when I was in 10th grade when a teacher asked me if I was pregnant, but that’s another story entirely!) And the last time it happened prior to the airplane episode, a guy at the gas station pointed to my stomach and asked in one-word broken English, “Baby?”. My answer? “Nope, just fat.” And then we laughed together.

Once upon a time, these types of comments would have propelled me into my next diet, extreme exercise routine, or depending on where my head was at the time, straight into a bag of chips.

But really, if you think about it, what’s so insulting about someone thinking you’re pregnant. Yes, I know the obvious answer is. But the reality is, that’s the way my body is shaped, and even at my very lightest — when I was counting every calorie in and out — I still had my tummy. We go way back, and it’s not about to leave me now. I can choose to resent it, or accept it the way it is, and the occasional pregnancy comments that come with it.

Besides, the flight attendant gave me a free movie and for the prices airlines charge for such luxuries these days, I’ll deal with the pregnancy faux pas now and then for a free in-flight chick flick.

Amen for the Spanx Bra-llelujah!

When I was first approached about reviewing the Spanx Bra-llelujah bra*, I wasn’t sure what kind of feedback I would be able to provide. While I could definitely use some help in the lower half of my body in terms of holding it all in, I am the quintessential pear shape, barely filling out an A-cup on top. But, what the heck, I thought. If it didn’t work out for me, I certainly know plenty of women who would love the chance to review the bra, so I agreed to take a look at it.

Well, sorry ladies. It’s mine! ALL MINE!

Before I go into why I love this bra, here’s the description of the bra that came on the tag:

Why Bra-llelujah?? Because it’s the first ever bra designed backwards to smooth and flatter your back! It has molded cups and naturally adjusting hosiery straps that won’t dig in. It’s soooo comfortable you’ll want to sing about it!

Honestly, I don’t usually have problems (I think??) with back bulge. I have had bra fittings before, and accordingly have bras that fit me fairly well without bulging in the back. I say “fairly” because believe it or not, having tiny ta-tas can make it extra-ordinarily hard to find well fitting bras. While larger chested women have their own set of problems like back pain, and straps digging in, I have problems like bras slipping up over the nips when I raise my arms, and straps constantly falling down. Again, better fitting bras do this less, but it’s been hard to find bras that fit perfectly …. until now.

Bra-llelujah! (Can you hear the singing yet?)

When I got the bra, I wasn’t even sure it was going to fit. Instead of my usual 36 A, the bra was a 34 B. (Maybe it’s time to get a bra fitting again!) But when I put it on and hooked the clasp in the front, I could not believe how amazingly comfortable this bra was. Yes, that’s right. A comfortable bra. You might have thought that was an oxymoron, but I am here to tell you it IS possible!

The fit is perfect, and the stretchy “hosiery” fabric has enough give to move with you while staying put. I am wearing it at this moment but the only reason I am actually aware of the fact that I am wearing it is because I am writing about it. I think I could seriously live in this bra.

So, whether your an A cup or a DD, if you’re looking for an uber-comfortable bra that can also flatter your back, this bra is for you!

Available at Lane Bryant (where right now they are having a Buy 2 Get 2 Free promotion) and Nordstrom.

* Per FTC guidelines, I am required by law to disclose this item was given to me by Lane Bryant, Inc. to review.

Lane Bryant Interview with Michelle Cantrell

While the goal of the Lane Bryant Bloggers Conference was to spread the word about the company and their commitment to making great fashion accessible to women in sizes 14 and above, the conference also provided a platform for a two-way conversation.

Here’s a video segment from an interview they did with me to hear more about my experience at the event.

2010 Lane Bryant Bloggers Conference: Final Wrap Up

I have to admit, when I was invited to the 2010 Lane Bryant Bloggers Conference*, held June 3, I was not sure how to respond. VenusVision is not a plus-size blog. I am not plus sized, and although I have long thought Lane Bryant is a great brand and I have often included pieces from Lane Bryant in posts about fashion, I was not sure what I would get from the conference or what I could contribute. But the reality is that the path of Lane Bryant and that of my own converge in subtle ways that became more clear throughout the amazing 1-day conference.

As Robert Rutkauskas, one of the senior designers for Lane Bryant said, “Fashion is not a size.” He came to Lane Bryant believing that every woman in every size has the right to put on clothes that look and feel good on her. Whether it’s a basic piece like a black dress or slacks,

something trendy with fun prints and cuts, or the ever important, but often overlooked undergarments, Lane Bryant is working hard to blur the lines between plus size fashion and so called “straight” fashion, and that was demonstrated throughout my experience at the conference.

The day began at 7:45 am with all 12 bloggers congregating at the hotel, waiting to be taken to Lane Bryant’s flagship store located at Easton Mall in Columbus, OH. From 8:00-10:00 am, the store was all ours! Each of the 12 bloggers were treated to a head-to-toe outfit of our picking. Saying it was like kids in a candy shop is an understatement. With the help of the Lane Bryant staff, including Rutkauskas, the women filled the dressing rooms with outfits of every type, in some cases pushing the envelope for what they felt comfortable with and finding new looks to wear with confidence.

Each woman got an expert bra fitting, thanks to Linda Lewis, Senior Buyer for Bras and expert in bra fitting, and discovered how much of a difference wearing a proper fitting bra can make both in comfort and appearance. Everyone was thrilled to walk away new skivvies! After the basics were taken care of and outfits were chosen, accompanying accessories, shoes, and a handbag finished the look for many in the group.

Though the group was quiet at the start of our trip, there was clearly no better way to create a bond among us than starting with a shopping trip! Everyone was thrilled with their loot, snapping away taking pictures, tweeting, and posting to Facebook, sharing the experience with followers.

When we were finished wreaking havoc in the store and doing all the damage that could be done in two hours, we piled back in the van and headed to the Lane Bryant headquarters. It was apparent from the moment that we walked through the doors that this was the corporate headquarters of a progressive, fashion-focused company. The lobby features a full display of mannequins wearing the newest Lane Bryant styles.

Our visit at the headquarters began with an introduction to Lane Bryant president Brian Woolf. Though some of us later expressed surprise that the head of a women’s fashion company is a man, it is clear he is dedicated to the idea that every woman deserves to wear clothes she can feel good in. And while it may seem counter-intuitive, Woolf doesn’t look at Lane Bryant as a plus-size company since, as he said “Do we call sizes 2, 4 or 6 minus sizes?” And that attitude carries throughout the rest of the company where each staff member we met, from the head designers to the Vice President of the marketing department who places a heavy emphasis on the power of social networking.

“Women sizes 14 and up are in the majority in America, and yet they are made to feel they are in the minority,” said Woolf. Lane Bryant is out to change that and reaching out through social media, recognizing the growing influence of bloggers is part of that mission.

In addition to meeting the Lane Bryant design team, we got a tour of the entire design process from concept to store, which takes nearly a year from beginning to end. But perhaps the most exciting part of the day was when we got to talk to Lizzie Miller via Skype. If you don’t remember Lizzie, check out my article on The Girl on p. 194 or just do a quick google search to see the amazing buzz she created by posing nude (discretely positioned) in Glamour magazine last fall, revealing a body that’s more reflective (and amazingly beautiful!) of the average American woman. I could do a whole blog post on our brief conversation, but suffice it to say she’s as effervescent and beautiful as she appears in Glamour.

Our day at the headquarters ended with a make-over and photo shoot where everyone got to display their Lane Bryant outfits. It was a great experience to work with professional hair and make-up artists, and photography team. Everyone loved the pampering and attention, and when they flaunted their stuff in front of the camera, it was as if they were born to be models.

After taking turns striking a pose, we finished the day with a dinner at McCormick & Schmidt where we talked and laughed like we’d all been friends for years. And for years to come, this will be a day I will remember, for the connections I made and the unique experience I was given. I have always believed in the vision of Lane Bryant and look forward to continuing an open dialogue with the company going forward.

Stay tuned on how to win a fabulous dress (seen in the picture above, worn by Marie Denee of the Curvy Fashionista), sexy lingerie, great accessories and more from Lane Bryant.

And here’s a list of my fellow bloggers all of whom are worth getting to know!

• Miss Lori of Miss Lori’s CAMPUS, missloriscampus.com
• Allison Teng of Curvy Girl Chic, curvygirlchic.blogspot.com
• Eve Mayer Orsburn of Social Media Delivered, socialmediadelivered.com
• Tina Potter McNeely of T Minus, T Plus, tminustplus.blogspot.com
• Madeline Jones of PLUS Model Magazine, plusmodelmag.com
• Sara  Bartlett, Bombshell Beauty Blog, bombshellbeauty.blogspot.com
• Kimberly Brinkman of Fab Finds Under $50 Blog, fabfindsunder50.com
• Aimee Cheshire of EVA Apparel Group LLC, madisonplus.com
• Alissa Wilson of The Budget Fashionista, thebudgetfashionista.com and Stylish Curves, stylishcurves.blogspot.com
• Marie Denee of The Curvy Fashionista, thecurvyfashionista.mariedenee.com
• Diana Jane Rajchel of Fat Chic, fatchic.net

* Per FTC guidelines, I am required to disclose that Lane Bryant paid for airfare, accommodations, makeover, and dining expenses incurred during the conference, as well as providing all clothing and accessories selected by me at the Lane Bryant store.

Flattering Plus Size Fashion Tips

With designers and retailers finally realizing the huge market in clothes for women who are not a size 2, the barriers to fashion are coming down for plus-sized women. Still, no matter what size you wear, each woman’s body is different, and knowing your shape and how to dress accordingly is essential for looking your best.

Often the instinct for larger women is to hide their figures. Define your shape and accentuate your assets to flatter the body you have. Start by creating a waist, suggests Racine Peters, Partner and Co-Founder of Budget Fab, LLC. Experiment by “wearing distinct separates, using a belt, or even wearing blazers that create a V-neck at the top and an inversed V-shape at the bottom” like this Old Navy blazer on sale for $27.99. Like to make a statement? Try this wide basket-weave belt for only $11.80 at Lane Bryant.

Look for pieces that create definition on their own. You can never go wrong with wrap shirts and dresses for a flattering look that never goes out style. Layering is another great way to define your waist, like with this Tie-front shrug for $39.50, also from Lane Bryant.

Where your clothes begin and end is an important thing to consider when looking for styles that flatter. When buying a skirt or dress, Donnella Tilery of CEO & Founder of Donnella’s Closet wants to make sure it isn’t too long past your knee or “you’ll look dumpy or frumpy!”This teardrop printed dress from Avenue is a perfect transitional piece from winter to spring or for a more conservative look, try this Nordstrom’s Semantiks Pencil skirt, on sale for $68.00.

Don’t let the term ’skinny’ intimidate you when it comes to pants. Anyone can wear skinny jeans as long as you pull the look together with complimenting pieces. These Calvin Klein “legging” jeans found at Nordstrom.com for $69.50 would look great with a pair of heels to elongate the look of your legs, as suggested by Laura Yoder of 24-7 Style. In the case of skinny jeans, Yoder suggests pairing with a top that just cover the hips.

And no matter what you wear, start with a good bra that fits properly, reminds Rachel Perlmutter, Owner of The Greater LA Woman. You can put on a great outfit, but if “the girls” are looking droopy, it will detract from your overall look. And besides, it’s a great way to feel sexy on the inside if you’re too shy to show it on the outside. Once again, Lane Bryant offers a great selection of adorable bras that will give you the support you need while making you feel sexy like an embroidered balconette bra.

Finally, what you wear on your feet can make or break a look. Heels and pointy-toed shoes elongate your legs and look great with a long pant. Have fun with skirts and dresses by wearing boots. If you have trouble finding boots with shafts that fit your calves, try Silhouettes.com where they carry boots with larger shafts and stretchy fabrics.