So I am opening the dialogue here. It’s time to talk about masturbation, but instead of using the word ‘masturbate’, for the remainder of this article I will refer to it as self love. I realize that throughout VenusVision, there is a lot of talk about self love, and in other contexts, the term is not referring to the act of masturbation, which may be confusing. But in my opinion, it’s all part of the same concept of knowing your body and loving it in a variety of ways.

I imagine that most women fall into two camps when it comes to self love: you either do it, or you rarely, if ever think about it (and if you do think about it, it’s probably not in a positive way). Based on the few discussions I have had with women on the topic, it seems like those who enjoy it as adults discovered the pleasures of self love at an early age, sometimes even before puberty. What began as a simple act of self exploration became an experience which relaxed, soothed, and provided pleasure. Certainly there are those who discovered the joys of self love later in life too, as they began to explore new sides of themselves that had been ignored in the past.

For those women who have confessed to never experiencing self love, I often find that they have less interest in sex in general, and many of them don’t have a positive self image, which may actually lead to overall decreased feelings of sexuality.  They are already uncomfortable in their bodies, and the idea of touching themselves can serve to enhance their self consciousness. Not to mention, I’m sure for many a stigma still remains on self love. Though we realize that you won’t actually go blind or grow hair on your hands from touching yourself, our society’s Puritan roots run deep, and for those who aren’t comfortable in their sexuality to begin with, self love can still seem like something perverse. Everyday Health cited a study by the National Health and Social Life Survey in which 39 percent of American women ages 18 to 60 reported masturbating during the previous year, compared with 61 percent of American men.

Like so many other women’s issues that have been taboo for women to talk about and explore, the barriers to self love need to be examined and broken down. Learning how to make yourself feel good in a way that’s independent from anyone else is not only empowering, it’s liberating.

According the Better Health Channel, some of the benefits of self love are:

• Eases some of the symptoms of premenstrual syndrome
• Relief from menstrual cramps
• Muscle relaxation
• Helps you to fall asleep
• Promotes release of the brain’s opioid-like neurotransmitters (endorphins), which cause feelings of physical and mental wellbeing
• Reduces stress
• Enhances self-esteem.

Additional medical benefits include a cleansing of the vagina and increased lubrication. And of course, if you are using self love as the exclusive means for sexual pleasure, you don’t risk unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

If all this still makes you feel uncomfortable and squeamish, it’s perfectly normal. It’s not likely that reading a few facts will suddenly create an urge to do something that you’ve never had any desire to do. On the other hand, perhaps self love is something that you think about from time to time, and you just need a little push to give it a try. Maybe you need some guidance on where to start. (For some ideas, check out Everyday Health’s article on Masturbation 101.) If you can break down the emotional barriers that have been preventing you from getting closer to your body, understanding it more, and learning how to provide pleasure for yourself, it will bring you one step closer to loving your whole self unconditionally, and serve as one way to make peace with your body and yourself.