Review of Girl on Top: Your Guide to Turning Dating Rules Into Career Success

Last night I went to a fabulous event that was part of a book tour for Girl on Top: Your Guide to Turning Dating Rules into Career Success, the new career guide by Nicole Williams. The invite-only event, hosted by The Limited, was a chance for Williams to showcase her book to the backdrop of fantastic styles.

Girl on Top is not your ordinary career advice book for women, just as Nicole is not your ordinary career woman. Founder and owner of Works, a company focusing on career development for women, Nicole has a tell-it-like-it is approach that you might liken to a career-consulting version of What Not to Wear’s Stacy London. Sometimes Nicole’s advice and choice of wording can be harsh, but it is only in the interest of bringing out your best. Using the most common rules of dating, Nicole delivers a witty, accessible, fun read on how to succeed in your career much in the same way you might try to snag a man.

Like Stacy London, Nicole rolls eyes at the notion that your brain and/or personality is all you need to get ahead. While conceding that it would be terrific to be acknowledged for your brains even though you have hair growing on your chin and a wort on your nose, ultimately she points to the inevitable truth that first and foremost we are all judged by our looks. That’s not to say that looks alone are the key to success, but there is something to be said for playing up your assets and Girl on Top coaches you on how to do just that.

For example, chapter 5 is entitled “If You’ve Got It, Flaunt It.” If you are asking what “it” is, good. She has the answer, and it might not be exactly what you are thinking: “What I’m talking about is an intangible energy. It is a stand-up-straight kind of confidence. It is a lightness and ease. It is a sense of humor that comes from not taking yourself too seriously. It’s captivating and commands attention.” Whether you’re Catherine Zeta-Jones or Susan Boyle, we all have ‘it’ — it’s just that some of us are better skilled at tapping into “it” than others. Ultimately it’s an art anyone can learn and Nicole will teach you.

Girl on Top goes on to tell you about etiquette, work-life balance, navigating social functions with colleagues, and more. And of course, woven throughout the book is advice on work-place style. There is no checklist for each item of clothing that belongs in your closet. Instead you will find guidance in helping you choose a wardrobe that enhances your assets without making you look like Julia Roberts in Pretty Women. I think most people ultimately agree that “less is more” when it comes to feminine wiles and this book gives the proverbial “hear hear” to that notion.

Ultimately Williams’s book is about empowering women to bring out their best, and learning how to work it to their advantage. Sure much of the advice may seem like common sense, but it serves as a good reminder of what to do and what NOT to do in the professional world. Coming from someone who has made a career of teaching other women how to succeed, her advice is worth listening to.

Pigtail Pals Is Redefining ‘Girly’

Girls can’t be scientists. Girls are bad at math. Race car driving is for boys.

Of course you know that none of these statements are true. But do you make an active effort in teaching the young girls in your life — daughters, sisters, nieces, students — that they can break through stereotypes and be anything they want to be? Melissa Wardy, Owner of PigtailPals did just that.

Tired of the role models girls are exposed to these days, Melissa had the idea of combining positive messages for girls with fun fashion, and Pigtail Pals was born. Playing on “girly” stereotypes, Melissa aims to redefine what ‘girly’ means by creating whimsical drawings that challenge traditional male/female roles. In her own words, “A Pigtail Pal doesn’t wish upon a star and wait for her prince to show up. A Pigtail Pal gets in her rocket ship and finds that star all on her own.”

When I asked Melissa to expand on how she came up with the idea for Pigtail Pals, she told me this:

“When I conceived the idea for this company, my daughter was a baby and I had control over everything she was exposed to. At the time, I had a desire to provide clothes that had more action and adventure for girls. Now she is in preschool, and I feel as though this hyper-sexualized world of clothes, toys and media are spiraling towards us. And she’s paying attention. That desire has now turned into a firery passion to return childhood to our girls. The concept of “7 going on 16″ is not okay with me. Most of what is on the market today is sexual, inappropriate, and harmful. We are undermining the potential of our girls by giving them toys that have overt messages of sexuality, pleasing men, and worth based on appearance. Pigtail Pals aims to do better.”

In addition to redefining ‘girly’, PigtailPals operates in a socially responsible manner, using tees that are made sweatshop, child-labor free. Pigtail Pals also chooses one charity each month to receive a portion of the profits from sales.

So help Melissa redefine what it means to be girly, and check out all of her designs at Pigtail Pals.

Turning Hidden Talents Into a Business

Let’s face it: making a go at “it” on your own is scary. Whether it’s consulting work for an area with which you are already familiar, or a hobby you want to turn into a business, there’s no easy way to get a business going. Or is there?

Jacki Rigoni, owner and creator of jacki paper greeting cards is an example of a woman — a stay-at-home mother of three — who jumped in with both feet and came out, not just with her head above water, but floating along comfortably on the proverbial “lazy river”.

VenusVision wanted to know what some of her secrets were and how she managed to go from sending a few cute home-made cards to friends and family to having a name among local greeting card stores, heading towards national brand recognition. Whether you need a spark to light your own flame, or you just want to learn about an awesome woman, this interview is worth reading.

VV: When did you start making your own cards?

JP: I was on maternity leave with my first daughter, Stella. I had always been into my career as an advertising copywriter. But as soon as she came into the picture, I knew I wanted to find something that would allow me to make money without spending the whole day away from her. I think this is the quintessential mom dilemma.

I’ve always made my own greeting cards to send to family and friends. I certainly never considered that it could be a business—until I started thinking about what I was good at and, more importantly, what I liked doing. The question I asked myself, and what I tell other people to ask themselves is: What do I love doing in my spare time? That should give you a pretty good idea of where to look for business ideas. I mean, you’re going to put your whole heart and energy into it, so it better be something you love. And that usually means that it’s also something you’re good at.

VV: When did you realize you could turn your hobby into a business?

JP: There were two inspired moments for me.

The first was when I was meeting with two other moms for a playdate. Both had had successful careers before kids and both were transitioning to small business ventures as stay-at-home moms. They started talking about a guy who had been an advertising copywriter who became successful as an irreverent greeting card maker. I knew the card brand and liked it a lot, so it really hit home when I heard he was a former writer. It got me thinking.

The second moment was when I was telling a friend about my idea and her response was, “Jacki, of all the people I know, if anyone can do it, you can.” That was huge for me, because I knew she was right.

VV: What kind of initial investment did you make? Were you nervous about the investment?

JP: I initially had a run of my first designs printed for about $5k all told. It was a lot of money for me at the time, but not so much that I’d be on skid row if it totally flopped. I just wanted to do enough cards to get them out in the world and see if anybody liked them. I had no business plan. And really no idea what I was doing. I just went for it and figured I’d learn what I needed to along the way if I got a positive response.

I wasn’t nervous about the investment. What made me nervous was putting myself out there for the world to see. I was really nervous to show friends and stores my cards because they might think they were lame.

So the harder investment for me was my ego.

VV: What have you done to expand your business?

JP: I started by going store to store and quickly realized two things. One, I don’t like sales. Two, I’d never be able to spend the time needed to get my cards all around the country.

So I had to find sales reps, which I did a bit on my own. But recently I just hired my first part-time employee—another mom—to help me build my rep base and expand sales. That was a huge step for me—deciding that it was time to invest in someone to help me out. But one important thing I’ve learned, among the gajillion important things I’ve learned, is to focus on what I do best and outsource the rest.

VV: Where do you hope your card business will be in 5 years?

JP: I’ve kind of done things by jumping in the moving jump rope without a plan. Now that I see I have a viable idea for a brand, I’m working on actually having a 5-year plan and beyond. It’s always been in my head, but it’s time to put it down in writing and work toward it systematically. So that’s part of my growth and maturation as a businessperson.

In my head, I have greeting cards in 1000 boutique stores across the country and Canada, as well as a thriving online store. I also plan to expand to other products like t-shirts, but am working on developing other fun products, too. No mugs and magnets. And I want everything I do to support the brand concept of jacki paper and make it into a company people love and admire. So I want to make sure my growth actually grows the brand, not just the sales.

VV: How do you balance your work life with a family?JP: I want to meet the woman who can.

I often work until one or two a.m. But that’s because I have the flexibility to go with my kids to a mommy and me class or the park during the day. I try to fit that in first and make the work fall in around my kids. Which often means working when they’re in bed at night. I work a lot, but I guess that goes without saying for anyone who has her own business.

I do have a Blackberry, so I can work even when I’m at the park, just in case I do need to send an emergency email. But I try not to answer the phone. When I’m with my kids, I really want to be with them.

I also have an amazing mother-in-law who takes care of the kids during the day and a husband who takes them in the afternoon after work. So a supportive family system is key.

And an office with a door. That I can close if I have to get an order out. Or open if I need to kiss a skinned knee.
In jacki paper terms, it’s doing the hokey pokey and never forgetting what it’s all about.

VV: What has been the greatest motivating factor for growing your business?

Two things, really. First, I don’t want to let anyone down. All the people around me believe in me, and I want to prove them right.

Second, I want to be an example to my kids for how to have a family and do something that you create on your own, on your own terms, without having to answer to anyone else.

Oh, and to make a living. I guess that’s three.

VV: What advice would you give to other women who want to turn their passion into a business?

JP: Go outside and play. Surround yourself with people who believe in you and who are also doing their own thing. Seek out those people and get together with them. Go on play dates with them and bring your kids. It’s surprising how many moms are doing amazing things. It’s totally inspiring and motivating. It makes you realize you can do it yourself.

Put your whole self in. Try things, change if they don’t work, and do whatever you need to do to make it work. Know you won’t get it right the first time. Get feedback, constantly, change, and adapt. My first cards were small and horizontal, because I thought they were sweeter and it made sense that they should be the right way when you pull them out of the envelope. What I found out was that stores were putting them sideways on the shelf to save space. So you couldn’t read them as you stood in the store. I started making the cards bigger, vertical, with most of the design at the top third of the card so that you can see it when it’s peeking out on the shelf. But I only found that out after a year from a sales rep I was asking feedback from. I had to drag it out of him. And I had to be willing to change my design to make the cards pop off the shelf.

Also, create a brand, not just a name, service or a product. People want to buy an idea to believe in, not just a product. Try to create a whole brand identity for yourself. If you don’t know how to do that, pay someone who can. That’s the advertising writer in me still talking.

You can be anything you want to be when you grow up, so don’t dawdle. I find the biggest barrier for most people is just taking the leap of faith to go for it. So my best advice is: Wing it.

I did my research and set a short-term, audacious but attainable goal—having a booth at the National Stationery Show with 20 new cards. And I just went for it, even though I could have been way more prepared. I went to this huge convention, sight unseen, and pretended like I knew what I was doing. I then came home with a sales rep and a bunch of orders. I had to really scramble to get a fax machine and shipping boxes and so many other things I knew nothing about. But it was the kick in the pants I needed to get going.

So stop dilly-dallying and make it happen.

And finally, wear your nice underwear in case you get hit by a bus.

Additional comment to moms:

Before I had kids, I thought I’d never be able to do anything once I did have them. I’ve found the complete opposite to be true.

I have 3 kids—Stella, almost 5, Giovanni, almost 3, and Celeste, 1. And they’ve only been an inspiration to get my act together and live my life on my terms. Having Stella really made me focus on what I wanted out of my life and my family. In fact, you can look at my cards (My mother told me to pick the very best one and you are it.) and see how my kids and my own childhood inspire what I do.

So even though the kids make things technically more difficult—I’m juggling way more now and wonder what I did in my spare time as a single person—I’m much more organized, focused, and motivated.

And way more tired.

But then again, happier and more energized than I’ve ever been in my life.

About jacki paper:

It was a time when station wagons were paneled and jello was serious. In the Midwest suburbs, Jacki and her sisters were drinking from the garden hose and playing kick-the-can past dark. Little did she know how useful those experiences would some day become. As a grown-up, Jacki turned them into words letterpressed on paper like skates clamped on gym shoes.

jacki paper is Jacki Rigoni. She freelances as an advertising copywriter until this adventure lets her out for recess. She built a fort in Belmont, California, with her husband, Mauricio, and their young kids, Stella, Giovanni, and Celeste. She hopes to give their little ones a childhood as idyllic as her own.

Except, without wiping dirt off their faces using her own saliva.

Or ever, ever giving them a perm.

Summer Survival Tips for Work at Home Moms

Summer break. As moms, most of us have a love-hate relationship with the long break our kids have from school. No more early mornings, no more figuring out what to pack for lunch day after day, no more arguments over what your kids should or shouldn’t wear to school. But it also means figuring out how to occupy your kids every single day, which can be particularly challenging if you work from home.

Whether you work full time, or stay at home full time, it goes without saying (but I’ll say it anyway) that being a mom has its challenges. The balancing act that is required of us, no matter what our situation is, takes the skill of an acrobat, the patience of Buddha, and the energy of the Tasmanian devil. As someone who has never really gotten the balancing act down, I particularly struggle with the responsibilities of motherhood, homemaking, and trying to earn a living. But during the school year, I knew I could always count on at least a few hours a day to devote to work. Now that school is out, what little balance I managed to create during the previous nine months has gone completely out the window.

I needed to enlist the help of some more experienced working moms, and I got some great advice. (Unfortunately, I didn’t read the advice immediately upon receiving it, and consequently am writing this article far later than I had intended.)

The first obvious solution for moms who work at home is summer camp. You already know there are a huge variety of camps for your kids, ranging from computer camps, acting camps, math camps, and science camps to camps that offer horseback riding, rock climbing, swimming, and more. Most camps offer half day and full day options with prices ranging from reasonable (which in our area translates to about $180 for 5 half days) to outrageous (there are no limits!). The most affordable camps tend to be offered by churches, Girl and Boy Scout Clubs, and local YMCA sites. If you can’t afford to do camps all summer long, look at your options and perhaps pick one or two weeks that would be of particular interest to your kids. If you can’t afford any camps, but still feel like you need a break for a few hours , enlist the help of a neighborhood teen. Most are eager to earn some extra spending money for the summer. My 14-year-old neighbor hosted a camp with a friend for the neighborhood kids, charging $60 per kid for 2.5 hours of organized fun for a week.

When camp is not an option, consider coordinating some vacation time with Dad, suggests Sara Bingham, founder of WeeHands Baby Sign Language and author of The Baby Signing Book. It’s a great chance for Dad to get some quality time with the kids, and it offers a break for you. Bingham also suggested sharing child care with another mom who works from home.

Regardless of how you choose to occupy your children during the summer months, maintaining a routine, and managing your time well are going to be essential to maximum productivity. Schedule time to put aside your work and spend uninterrupted quality time with your children. Rebecca Buscemi, owner of Creative Virtual Office shared her own strategies: “I try to outline some art and craft and various activities to do with the kids the weekend before the work week starts, that way I’m prepared.” However, she added, “When planning activities and games to play with your children while taking a break from work, make sure they aren’t long drawn out projects and games.” If you have to keep interuppting activities to take another call or get back to your work, your child will get frustrated and may be less likely to let you work in peace, Buscemi pointed out. She also suggested having easy activities on hand that your child can do independently, so when you get a phone call you have to take, you are ready with something to occupy your kids.

It also helps if your child has a dedicated play area with a variety of toys, games, and other activities they can enjoy by themselves. Josephine Geraci, Founder and President of My Mom Knows Best, Inc. considers converting her basement into a playroom for her children one of her best investments. She has put a lot of effort into creating a space they can call their own and in which they enjoy being. For inspiration, she tried to recreate a kindergarten class, offering a dress up area, a kitchen set, a doll house, legos, building bocks, puzzles, cars, trucks, etc. She admits it has gotten a little easier now that her children are old enough to play independently but that doesn’t mean they always play well together. Geraci has a rule that if they can’t play nicely together, she seperates them on different floors for a designated period of time.

And of course, sometimes it helps if you can put aside work for a few hours, and get out of the house with a kids. Even if you’re not near an urban center filled with large museums, you’d be surprised if you look around for some local museums what you might find. We have a small farm museum nearby that my kids can spend hours in. And don’t forget about local parks and libraries. Most offer programs and activities for kids free of charge or at a minimal cost. If you have access to a pool, that’s a great way to tire out your kids before coming home for some “quiet time” which presents another good opportunity to get some work done (provided you don’t wear yourself our too!). If you need to turn on the TV for a little break, don’t feel guilty. Sure you probably don’t want to park your kids in front of the tube all summer long, but using it for some down time for both of you won’t rot their brains!

If all else fails, and you just can’t get work done during the day, the best advice I can give is to embrace the time you have with your kids, and set aside time in the evenings to get your work done after they are in bed. If you’re not a night owl, this is easier said than done, but you will only get frustrated trying to get work done during the day if your children aren’t able to occupy themselves, and then everyone will have an unhappy summer. Before you know it, the kids will be back in school, and you”ll be wishing for those care free days of summer again!

How One Woman Dealt With Diabetes

Diabetes is a word we hear a lot these days. In fact, I think in many ways we’re becoming desensitized to the word. I’m fairly certain there are few people out there who don’t know someone affected by diabetes. Because we often hear about it being controlled by diet and exercise, we’ve come to view diabetes as a relatively benign disease — perhaps something as inevitable as gray hair.

Laura Wolfe, who goes by “Lahle,” learned first-hand that diabetes is anything but benign when it nearly took the life of her daughter at the age of 4. Since Lahle had long suffered from Type 2 diabetes, she started noticing signs in her daughter that concerned her. Initially doctors dismissed Wolfe’s concerns that Elizabeth was diabetic, but a year later, when symptoms came on rapidly, Elizabeth had to be rushed to the emergency room where her blood sugars were found to be at life-threatening levels.

Overnight Lahle’s life changed, along with that of her family. Elizabeth’s blood sugars were impossibly hard to stabilize, and it was soon determined that she was allergic to the buffering agents in long-acting insulin, and that regular insulin administered through a pump would solve the problem. Because the insulin pump regulated Elizabeth’s insulin levels, she was able to regain some control over eating, playing, and sleeping.

Lahle’s initial reaction to Elizabeth’s diagnosis was that of most parents when tragedy strikes their child – total shock and the guilty feelings that this was somehow all her fault. One day you think you have a perfectly healthy normal child, and the next day your life and hers is turned upside down. But Lahle learned many things as a result of her experiences, not the least of which was the strength of herself and her other children who in her own words were “saintly patient” as their own needs often went neglected while Lahle learned to cope with Elizabeth’s diabetes.

While there are many resources out there for diabetics, many newly diagnosed patients don’t know where to turn for help in managing their health and dealing with insurance companies who often determine “the best treatment” which may not always be consistent with what your doctors deem is the best treatment. Or worse, there are many without any insurance who struggle to pay for the care they need. Lahle battled with her own insurance company to get Elizabeth’s pump, and was grateful that the company Animas Corp. stepped in and offered her one. Lahle realized how fortunate Elizabeth was to receive one so quickly — only one month after being diagnosed with diabetes — when so many other patients must wait an indefinite amount of time while insurance companies determine the need.

Feeling frustrated with a lack of coherent information on diabetes and concerned that others struggled to get the right care, Lahle took action and created the non-profit organization iPump whose mission is to provide free insulin pumps and diabetes supplies to qualifying approved applicants. Since its inception in 2006, iPump has distributed more than $750,000in free insulin pumps and diabetes supplies to individuals and struggling free clinics throughout the country. Additionally, Wolfe created Islets of Hope, a certified Health on the Net website, that provides information and resources on diabetes and helps connect diabetics with one another through community support.

Together, iPump and Islets of Hope have provided more than 6,700 people with diabetes with free medical supplies, insulin pumps, and legal assistance. Having this positive mission gives Lahle’s own experiences a purpose and new meaning. According to Wolfe, “In my work I have seen every worst-case scenario of what diabetes does to people. But because of the tremendous outpouring of compassion from the diabetes community itself, we are able to help others with diabetes stay alive until we have a cure. iPump is an organization built by people with diabetes taking care of other people with diabetes and there is currently no other organization like it in the world.”

Though Lahle admits that diabetes may have “darkened” part of her world, she found that it also “provided contrast to the brights which now seem even more brilliant and wonderful than before.” She savors the simple moments of Elizabeth’s childhood, and views each of her four children as miracles. In her own words, “While diabetes certainly is no gift, it came surrounded by gifts of grace and personal growth and the ability to see beauty in far more things than I ever imagined possible.”