What to Say When You’re Not Expecting (But Look Like You Are)

Recently I was on a flight back from California after a fun long weekend with a friend. Since I’m on the East coast, the return flight is usually about 5 hours and I get a bit antsy sitting in my seat, squished and uncomfortable. After getting up to use the rest room (or should I say ‘lavatory’), I decided to stand a while and stretch my legs. Since the flight attendants had already been through with the service cart, they were casually chatting amongst each other. Seeing me standing there, one of the flight attendants turned to me and asked, “So how far along are you?”.

Now, an airplane is loud, and I knew I had heard her correctly, but with what was probably a bit of a stunned look, I said “what?”. She instantly realized her mistake and tried to cover her tracks.

“I mean your flight. How much further do you have to go,” she stammered. Too late. I knew what she meant. And frankly, I couldn’t blame her. While I’m not a particularly large woman, I have been blessed with the eternal pooch. No matter how much weight I gain or lose, my pear shaped body seems to hold tight to my tummy which, yes, can resemble that of a pregnant woman. Add to that the fact that I was wearing an empire cut maxi dress, leaning against the wall of the airplane, probably accentuating my stomach, and the mistake she made doesn’t seem so out of the question.

I went along with her change in course and replied that I was headed home. And, that was it. I didn’t go back to my seat and spend the next hour and a half of my flight stewing and brewing over what she said while clouds of self hatred materialized around my body. I simply took it for what it was — an honest mistake, and moved on.

There was a time I would not have been so non-chalant about such a mistake and indeed, it is not the first time it happened. (The first time was when I was in 10th grade when a teacher asked me if I was pregnant, but that’s another story entirely!) And the last time it happened prior to the airplane episode, a guy at the gas station pointed to my stomach and asked in one-word broken English, “Baby?”. My answer? “Nope, just fat.” And then we laughed together.

Once upon a time, these types of comments would have propelled me into my next diet, extreme exercise routine, or depending on where my head was at the time, straight into a bag of chips.

But really, if you think about it, what’s so insulting about someone thinking you’re pregnant. Yes, I know the obvious answer is. But the reality is, that’s the way my body is shaped, and even at my very lightest — when I was counting every calorie in and out — I still had my tummy. We go way back, and it’s not about to leave me now. I can choose to resent it, or accept it the way it is, and the occasional pregnancy comments that come with it.

Besides, the flight attendant gave me a free movie and for the prices airlines charge for such luxuries these days, I’ll deal with the pregnancy faux pas now and then for a free in-flight chick flick.